... Were you trying to read my secret thoughts? you want me to read them to you?" Upright Citizens Brigade
Writing in here is essentially writing in a journal for all the world to see. I know that not many people care what I have to say, which is part of the reason why I don't start shouting out my posts in the middle of some coffee shop. I only expect my little sis & a handful of friends/family to glance at this. & then there's a few more random people that might look at what I write because it randomly shows up in their news feed on Facebook. But, what does it really matter, eh?
I was pondering the other day about how to get someone's attention. You see, I have a rather hard time with physical contact. There are a few people that I will feel comfortable exchanging physical contact with, that I might seek out for a hug or kind gesture. Maybe about.... 4 people, tops? Hmm, that seems a bit high to me, but let's keep it at 4 due to error. Everyone else falls into a range of awkward/uncomfortable to terrifying/painful when it comes to touch. & this can be for something as little as lightly brushing your arm to a random hug with a stranger. Most normal people don't feel this way about physical contact-- it's a normal, natural, healthy part of communication. Babies need physical contact to be able to survive (or something like that, I don't feel like fact checking right now). Handshakes are the norm in a business setting. Most guys expect a hug after a date. It's just the way the world moves; people typically thrive off of human contact. I realize that I'm not normal, & that trying to tell people that I'm not a "touchy person" doesn't always work. There's still the people that forget or don't think that you're *that* serious about it, or might even be offended that you don't give them a hug when they're so obviously trying to hug you in front of other people. & then there's the ever-dreaded, touching your arm to get your attention...
Why is it that some people feel the need to touch your arm in order to get your attention? I can see how it would be useful, but there are better ways of doing that. *As a side note, I hate the word "touch"; I'd rather say "physically contact" or "connect"... I believe that the best way to get someone's attention is to say their name. It doesn't have to be loud, since most people will be able to hear their name in a whisper. It's wonderful, really-- you get their attention in a personal way, communicating a bit of your intent for talking with them (through the tone of your voice), it lets them know that you know them, & it doesn't (usually) make that person feel as if they are in any sort of danger. There's no bubble violation. If the person doesn't hear you the first time, say it a bit louder, then feel free to touch their arm while saying their name. Or poke them.
As I read this post, it almost seems a bit silly, a bit superfluous: why should I describe a process that has been in place for millennia, that everyone already knows how to do? Maybe it's my way of finally letting the masses know (all 7 of you) that I can't handle most human touch. It freaks me out, & sometimes makes me feel as if I'm a seven year old about to have an epileptic seizure... If someone touches my arm, they get my attention, but my instinct is to back away, look for an escape route, or in some other way be put on the high alert defensive. If someone says my name, I'll pause & look the in the eye. They've caught my attention, but - more importantly- they've also garnered my respect.
The lesson: don't touch me, please. I'm trying to get over this quirk of mine, but life would be much better off if you'd simply say my name. the end.
