For God hath not given us the spirit of fear;

but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." 2 Timothy 1:7

When I was a freshman in high school, I had an interesting choice before me: I could either study Spanish, like everyone else in my family, or I could study French, which I found to be more interesting. Spanish won, mainly because I was already familiar with it to an extent, & because I could ask my siblings for help (not that I ever needed it; I love languages too much- it's probably one of my 'gifts'). I taught myself a bunch of the different tenses for verb conjugation that you don't get into until 3rd or 4th year, because I wanted to be able to say more complex things than "yo tengo una familia. Mi familia es grande. Uno de mis hermanos está en España. El habla español." For those of you that don't speak-a da Spanish, that means "I have a family. My family is big. One of my brothers is in Spain. He speaks Spanish." *As a side note, it still boggles my mind that some people don't understand any Spanish. I blame this on growing up in Southern California, where you're always around someone that knows some Spanish, & you see advertisements & hear the music all over the place.

Anyway, back to the story. I took Spanish instead of French, even though I thought French was a much cooler, more educated sounding language (I still think of Spanish as being a bit dirty every now & then, since you usually find it with the less educated people in our society). Then I switched high schools, where another language was being offered: German. Now, if I had started as a freshman there, I definitely would have picked German over one of those romance languages...but I stuck with Spanish because my brother Brian was serving his mission in Madrid, Spain, & I wanted to be able to talk with him in Spanish when he got back. & I don't really remember if we ever had those conversations in Spanish, but he definitely instilled in me a love of the Spanish people, & all things relating to Spain. I love Spanish music, the cuisine, the architecture, the movies, the accent, the literature, the history.... everything! Viva España! So now, years later, I have a degree in Econ, w/a double minor in music & Spanish. & a taste for Spain. One of my favourite musical groups is La oreja de van Gogh, & my fav. type of cookies are polvorones y mantecados. Mmmmmmm.... deliciousness! For Christmas, Brian gave me his old Cocomotion (which he had when he lived at the Riv waaaaay back when), a box of polvorones/mantecados, & a box of Marzipan. These last ones were fish shaped. & this has been a rather long introduction for my real intent today...

Even when I remember to eat breakfast on Sundays, I always get hungry during church. The solution to this problem is to bring a tiny little snack to eat before the third hour. This past Sunday, I brought a fish-shaped marzipan treat. As I was pondering during the sacrament, I looked down at that unwrapped little fishy & couldn't help but to think of Christ feeding the multitude with the loaves & the fishes. & then the thoughts/inspiration started to come. I gathered my thoughts, waiting for the sacrament to pass before I picked up a pen & started noisily scribbling away on the inside of my program. Here are my thoughts, polished slightly from what I wrote 2 days ago:

God can, has, & will continue to make weak small things become great. (see Alma 37:6-7 "..by small & simple things are great things brought to pass...the Lord God doth work by means to bring about his great eternal purposes...", & also Ether 12:27 "... then will I make weak things become strong unto them.") If He was able to take some tiny fish & stretch it out to feed thousands, then surely He can take me, stretch me out, & make me into something great. I'm pretty sure He cares more about me than he does about a little fish. 2 Timothy 1:7. 1 John 4:18 "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. he that feareth is not made perfect in love."
*I should pause here to say that I've been super confused with what I need to be doing right now with my life. I've been nothing short of terrified with the many possibilities that wait in front of me, beckoning me to simply choose one & go for it (see Ezra 10:4, one of my favorite scriptures out there...). I've longed for so... uh... long... to have a true confidante; to be able to share my hopes & dreams with someone because I'm not getting across to myself very well. I think I've always been a creative person, & what I most want to do right now is create: help to shape someone else's life & see my hand affecting the quality of life & appreciation that others feel. Yet, I am scared because I don't know where to go. I need help, guidance, support. & back to the story:
When you stand out, facing the vast expanse of possibility in the world, it can be super intimidating, but you are not destined to fail. God put you here so that you could triumph & perform miracles in the lives of others.
Jeremiah- says he is a child, but God tells him that He has a work for him to do. (see Jeremiah 1:6-8, & Jer 18:6) Isaac is a great foreshadow of Christ, especially in his willingness to submit like a child to the Father (Mosiah 3:19).
DC 84:81-85 -- trust in God; He knows what He's doing with you ( :84 "therefore, let the morrow take thought for the things of itself")
10 camel wife> 10 cow wife
"Brethren, shall we not go on in so great a cause? Go forward and not backward. Courage, brethren; and on, on to victory!..."DC 128:22

Anyway, all these thoughts came from looking at a tiny fish that I came to have because I took Spanish in high school & my brother served in Spain. Oh, & from letting the scriptures become an integral part of who I am. I don't know why it took me so long (to college) to embrace these things as being part of me, but I'm sure glad to have them now. I firmly believe that the LORD still teaches us (or, at the very least, me) in parables & random symbols. How else could a little candy thing made from almond paste & sugar be a source of wisdom...?