I stand by that. But clearly some men are island chains. Underneath, they are connected... (About A Boy)
Brilliant movie; one of my favourites. Not just because of the dry British humor and charm, but the underlying message-- our lives and happiness are dependent on our relationships with others. Well, that's the message I take from it, and as this is *my* blog that's the only opinion that matters. If you have a problem with it, you can start your own blog and describe my evil deeds to the uninterested world at large. See if I care.
One saying that I always have had trouble with is that on one can make you feel anything-- no one can make you happy or sad or angry; you choose to have those reactions on your own. I can see how that can work on a small scale, but it's not like the actions of others can't have any direct effect on your emotional state. That doesn't mean that they have complete control, but rather that you can't say that your emotions are entirely based off of yourself or others-- it's a mix of the two. If everyone were an island, emotionally isolated from the actions of others, then yes, each person would be 100% responsible for each emotion they feel. But men aren't islands... we are all connected.
"I've tried making myself happy, and she's tried making herself happy, but it doesn't work. You need other people to make you happy"
"But that's just the thing--- if other people can make you happy, then they can make you unhappy as well."
Happiness doesn't come easily, or at least it doesn't come easily for long. Anything worth having is worth working for. I think that the number one killer of relationships, whether romantic or platonic, is neglect. If you don't water your plant it will inevitably whither away and die. Some relationships are like cacti-- they only require occasional watering, while others have all of the hydration needs of... um... dogs (which are not plants, but they still need to drink every day). Still, you need to put effort into other people if you want to have returns from them, in this case the returns being an upshot of joy or well-being. I think in the church this gets taken care of through that whole 'service' branch, as well as home/visiting teaching. When your goal is to make other people happy, then you benefit from the positive spillover that their joy brings into your life.
When people say that no one makes you feel anything, but that you choose how you feel, I can't help but to think of them as somewhat selfish. Mainly because they try to pull that phrase after they've done something particularly annoying or rude and don't want to man up to their faults, but also because it depicts a careless regard that they have for others and the good and bad that they bring to life on the grand scheme. I can make you happy if you let me, but I can't make you happy if I do nothing.
Andrew {5 Years}
8 years ago
1 comment:
I think the whole "you choose how you feel" argument is b.s. I've heard that before from many people in church, and it's just not true. But don't think that people are lying to you. They just don't know how to say what they really mean. What they mean is that you can choose how to present yourself to the world, despite how you feel on the inside. So basically, they want you to look happy, even if you feel like crap.
Personally, I think there are a lot of people in the church who are actually quite depressed, but they try and hide it to fit in. My advice to anyone would always be true to yourself. Let the inner you shine forth, however it happens to be at any given time.
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