Life is an exciting business, ...

...and most exciting when it is lived for others. (Helen Keller)

It is without much further ado that I happily announce that I have started my mission papers! Most of my known associates will have no idea as to the degree of difficulty that it's been for me to reach this spot on itself; suffice it to say that this hasn't been a splendid year for me in the emotional camp... Yet now my lifelong goal is withing grasp, and I feel as though I can finally let myself move forward and drop the spotlight that's been hounding my personal life. I don't want to spend another year and a half as a clueless, self-absorbed little Mormon girl in the middle of Mormon Mecca-- I want to get out there and focus everything I have on the people that really need it. Am I ready for all of the rigors and difficulties of missionary life? I don't think anyone really is, not 100%, but I'm gearing up for it. People may spit in my face and threaten my life, but that won't stop me from going out and bringing some people to a better understanding of Christ and His atonement... I know that any little thing I can do for people now is better than what I might be doing for myself in a worse mindset.

I hope that I can get things underway quickly. I wonder if this might be how the 10 virgens of Christ's parable felt while they waited for the bridegroom to come. All I can do is to prepare myself in the best way possible and try to do some good on my way out. I'm trying to forget the sadness that has flooded to me because of what I gave up for this week. Admittedly, it was the hardest thing for me to let go for the next two years: marching band/pep band. Those musical groups have quite literally felt like family for the past two years... I think of my section as my surrogate brothers and sisters, helping me to deal with life at Provo. There are so many cool trombone/ other instrumentalist friends that I'm leaving so last minute like that probably will be all graduated and/ or married by the time I get back from wherever it is that I'm going... I wish I could have had a better good-bye, but I didn't know I'd be leaving until this past June. Up until then, I was all set to become section leader for this season. I realized the other day as I was mopping up at Podge's, that the only possible way for me to willingly leave the band is because I love my Heavenly Father. There's no other way. Some people cry because they won't see their biological family for 2 years, but I know that they'll still be around when I get back. It's the musical family that I'll really miss. But there's no other business that I'd rather undertake right now than the Lord's.